


Stay (Fic and Podfic)

by NachoDiablo



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Feels, First War with Voldemort, Jealous Sirius Black, M/M, Podfic, Podfic Length: 10-20 Minutes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2018-11-18 03:50:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11283171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NachoDiablo/pseuds/NachoDiablo
Summary: September 1981. Sirius needs to know exactly what's on Remus' mind.Podfic added 25 Sept 2017 for the HP Podfic Fest





	Stay (Fic and Podfic)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 24-hour Wand In a Knot smut challenge. The prompt was, "Don't make me beg."
> 
> Things got angstier than expected, but hopefully you'll enjoy.

This was recorded for the [2017 HP Podfic Fest](https://hp-podfic-fest.livejournal.com/)! Download it [here](http://hp-podfic-fest.parakaproductions.com/fall-fest-2017/Stay.mp3) or check out the post for the fest [here](https://hp-podfic-fest.livejournal.com/92990.html).

 

**_September 1981_ **

 

When Sirius hears the telltale pop of apparition in his living room, he knows who it is. It’s been weeks- months, really- but he knows.

 

Sirius is sitting at his kitchen table, gripping a mug of tea- spiked with firewhiskey- tightly between his hands. Usually by now he’d be halfway to the bedroom, clothing strewn in his wake.

 

_Not tonight._

 

Remus enters the kitchen, coming up behind Sirius and placing a hand on his shoulder. “Alright, Pads? I know it’s been awhile. I’m sorry.”

 

_You’re sorry. I’m sorry. What does it matter when I don’t know what you’re sorry for?_

 

“No need to apologize.” Sirius belies no emotion as he stands from his chair, pulling Remus into an embrace. He never lets on that he gives a shite regarding what Remus gets up to. Remus smells woodsy, with a hint of smoke, and something else that he can’t quite pinpoint.

 

_Or someone else._

 

Sirius isn’t quite sure when they started doing whatever it is that they’re doing. Fifth year, maybe? That’s when he and Remus started sneaking into each others beds at night, snogging messily, awkwardly fumbling as they got each other off.

 

It’s been years now, and although they’ve gotten better at the mechanics, nothing’s changed, not really. Remus still leaves once they’ve spent themselves. They’ve never progressed further. At the end of the day, they’re still just two friends who get off together, no strings attached.

 

Remus doesn’t do attachment. Not with his condition. _You think you’re not worthy of me, and you’re wrong. You think you’re too dangerous for me, and you’re right. You’re just wrong about the reasons._

 

Sirius grabs Remus by the face, looking deep into his eyes before pulling him in for a harsh kiss, biting and moaning as they crash together, lips and teeth grasping at whatever they manage to catch onto.

 

They do make their way to the bedroom eventually, with Remus stripping Sirius of his robes along the way, hungrily devouring each centimeter of skin as it’s exposed. Sirius allows himself to be pushed back onto the bed, allows Remus to trail his hot tongue down every curve of muscle along his chest, allows his cock to be engulfed by the warm heat of Remus’ mouth as he sucks the precum from the head, jerking the shaft with one hand as the other begins tracing his entrance, fingers slick with a wordless lubricant spell.

 

Sirius groans as the first finger breaches him, working him open, pressing against his prostate at just the right angle. He’s fucked other men here and there over the years, but for the past six months or so, he hasn’t bothered. No one knows him like Remus. No one can make him moan and gasp the way Remus can. Other partners just remind him of what he doesn’t have.

 

_Not that you feel the same way._

 

Remus is far from celibate, Sirius knows. He doesn’t let on that it bothers him, that it stokes his anger, that it drives him insane to think of other lips kissing Remus’ lips, other hands carding through Remus’ hair just as his own are right now. His snide comments and cruel remarks disguise his agony, or so he hopes.

 

Lily once theorized to him, after a few too many shots of tequila at a muggle bar, that Remus sleeps with other people to prove to himself that he doesn’t love Sirius. Sirius wonders if it’s working.

 

He gasps as another finger enters him, then a third, fucking him roughly as Remus’ tongue teases the underside of his cock. Sirius whimpers as he feels the fingers slide slowly out, leaving him bereft and begging. Remus moves up to hover over Sirius, bending his legs up, leaning in for another searing kiss before moving one hand down to slick his cock with lube and align it with Sirius’ hole.

 

“Buggering fuck-” Sirius bites back his babbling as he feels Remus push into him, stretching him out, filling him up. Remus presses his face into the pillow beside Sirius, muffling his own moans as he begins thrusting, one hand gripped tightly in Sirius’ hair. They don’t often fuck face to face, but when they do, they do it this way, without seeing each other.

 

_Not tonight._

 

Sirius knows that there’s someone amongst the order that can’t be trusted. Someone close to the marauders, close enough to be gathering secrets to sell. He doesn’t suspect Remus, not really, but if it’s not Remus, then it’s Peter, and that makes even less sense.

 

_If I knew this was real… If I knew this was more…_

 

Sirius growls as he grabs Remus by the shoulders, shocking them both as he rolls them over so that he’s straddling Remus, pinning him to the bed. Remus’ eyes are wide with shock as Sirius begins to move, grinding his hips in a slow cadence, his silver eyes piercing into the bewildered amber ones beneath him.

 

Remus closes his eyes, hitching his breath as Sirius picks up his pace. Sirius frowns, leaning down to rest on his elbows, cupping Remus’ face in his hands.

 

“Look at me.” Sirius is surprised by the sharpness in his tone. Evidently, so is Remus, as his eyes flutter open in surprise, staring up in wonderment.

 

“Watch me while I’m fucking you.” Sirius pushes himself back up, letting one hand trace down Remus’ chest, mapping the scars that crisscross his torso. Usually, Remus is the one running his hands and lips and teeth all over Sirius’ body, worshipping him, marking him as his own, never letting himself be vulnerable.

 

_Not tonight._

 

Sirius grins wickedly as he watches Remus fall apart beneath him. He rides Remus hard and fast, feeling the cock inside him swell as it presses against all of his sweet spots perfectly. Sirius leans back slightly to give Remus a better view as he fists his own cock, moaning as Remus grabs his hips, helping him move at just the right pace- the right angle- yes-

 

_“Fuck!”_ Sirius shouts as he feels his cock pulse, shooting ropes of sticky come over his own hand and Remus’ stomach. Remus is gritting his teeth as he begins to thrust hard and fast up into Sirius, breathing heavily. Sirius catches his eye and brings his hand up to his mouth, sucking his own come off his fingers.

 

_“Bloody fucking-”_ Remus’ curses catch in his throat as he comes, gripping Sirius’ hips so tightly that Sirius is sure he’ll have bruises tomorrow.

 

Sirius moves off of Remus to lie next to him on the bed, letting their arms brush against each other as they catch their breath. He knows he has only a few moments before Remus will be up, getting dressed and casting cleansing charms.

 

Sure enough, it’s less than a minute before Remus has his wand in hand, taking care of the stickiness between Sirius’ thighs and pulling on his robes quickly.

 

“I’d best be off. Have to catch up on some things. Rest up for the next mission.”

 

Sirius is torn. This is where he usually makes a flippant comment, something meant to let Remus know that he doesn’t give two shites whether Remus stays or goes.

 

_Not tonight._

 

“Stay.” Sirius is propped up on his elbows, staring at Remus intently.

 

Remus freezes, wand in hand, ready to apparate away without notice. He looks at Sirius curiously.

 

“Pads, I don’t think-”

 

“Stay the night, Moony. I don’t- I want- I have to _know-”_

 

Remus sighs, running a hand through his curls.

 

“Pads, I don’t think that’s a good idea. You know I can’t-”

 

“Don’t make me beg.”

 

Remus looks taken aback. Sirius Black doesn’t _beg._ Sirius Black gets whatever he wants. If something is denied him, he is quick to point out how undesirable that thing was in the first place.

 

Remus stares down at the wand in his hand. _This is it, Moony. This is where you let me know if I can put my trust in you. If I can put my trust in us._

 

Sirius says nothing as Remus’ eyes flicker back and forth between his wand and Sirius. He’s not sure which option frightens him more; Remus putting the wand down and coming back to bed, or Remus apparating away as if none of this matters.

 

Remus reaches towards the nightstand and puts the wand down.

**Author's Note:**

> I like to think that in this world, the pups work things out and a different path is chosen, but it's open to interpretation.
> 
> Thank you for reading! I obsess over wolfstar and the marauders on Tumblr (@nachodiablo).


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